Only If
by super-who-lockian-intheimpala
Summary: A grieving Dean is taken by surprise when the Impala is turned into a human. He's even more surprised when things start to heat up. Human!impala Bottom!Dean. slashfic. shameless smut.


**This is for my lovely friend, Jade. Happy sweet 16th. Hope you enjoy! :)**

**x**

Dean couldn't really see where he was driving. Not that it was raining or foggy or anything of that sort; but, because of the tears stinging his eyes and the alcohol that was running through him like a flood. He gripped the steering wheel of the Impala tight in one hand while holding a bottle in the other, trying his best to stay between the yellow and white lines.

He pressed the bottle to his lips and took another swing.

He didn't usually drive drunk, he never liked the thought of crashing his baby, but Dean thought he deserved to be just a little reckless. After all, who was around to tell him not to get behind the wheel while chugging a bottle of his favorite whiskey? Sam sure as hell wasn't. Sam was, after all, in Hell.

But, Dean wasn't going to think of his brother. The whole point of this drinking binge was to forget. He was trying to forget the Apocalypse. He wasn't going to remember his little brother jumping in the pit. Not tonight. Not after he was done with a few more bottles.

He pressed a heavy foot to the gas pedal. Driving down two-lane asphalt, Dean didn't have to worry about hitting much of anything besides trees or maybe a deer. He was alone; he didn't have to worry about trying to hide his tears or having to drive the definition of safety. He was on bottle number five now. He really wished he could forget why he was crying.

Focusing on the road, he didn't notice the familiar figure that appeared in the backseat. He didn't notice those tricky sunshine-shining-through-a-glass-of-whiskey eyes that gave him a cocked eye brow through the rearview mirror. Those eyes then gave a longing look to the end of a dumdum stick that was nearly gone. That figure sighed quietly and tossed it on the floorboard with a cunning smile. He snapped his fingers.

Dean jumped at the sound and drunkenly tried to bring the Impala to a stop, only to actually slam the gas instead of the break. He swerved off the road, his vision blurring and his head spinning and the Impala crashing.

Dean blinked several times, trying to clear his head. He threw open the impala's door, reaching for his gun in his waistband instinctively. He glanced around, gun pointed, taking an uneasy step around to the front of the Impala.

The car wasn't too damaged; its front smashed into a tree and the front left headlight busted out. The tree was hurt more than Dean's baby. But Dean was still pissed about it.

He had heard something, he knew it. Something like a snap; someone snapping their fingers? Maybe he was just hearing things. He turned and looked at the road, shoving the driver's door shut as he stumbled by. He looked both ways, then stopped dead in his tracks. From behind him he heard a loud gasp. Dean turned around on wobbly legs; his gun pointed at… a man?

"Who the hell are you?" Dean slurred. "Where's my car?" He was pretty sure his baby was parked under that tree where the guy was standing.

Smooth, dark eyes met Dean's. Even in the dark Dean could tell one was badly bruised and a bit swollen. The man was rubbing his head with a confused look on his face. He wore a black leather jacket and a white t shirt and was clad in jeans as dark as his eyes. His boots, which were worn and muddy, came up mid-calf. He wore a sly smile on his face and his black hair was swept back from his face.

"Your car's right here, Deany." His smile grew. He held a half a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

Dean's half a bottle of whiskey.

Dean thought that he must have finally drunk too much and now was either dreaming or hallucinating. His car was definitely not there and how the hell did that guy get his bottle of whiskey?

Dean swallowed, "You must be real fucked up. There isn't any car here, man. Now tell me, where the hell is my baby? I'll shoot!" Dean took a few drunken steps forward, his gun raised.

"I'm right here, Dean. I'm your baby," He said matter-of-factly, an even slyer smile creeping onto his face as he took a step forward.

Dean stopped. The guy looked a lot like his baby. Dark, muscly, and sleek. _What the hell?_

"But- but you're a guy. Baby is a girl… Or- I mean. What the fuck? Where is my car?" Dean mumbled mostly to himself. He looked to him with a skeptical look. "Prove it!"

"Alright," He laughed darkly as he reached into his pocket. Dean raised his gun. "Whoa! Easy, tiger. You wanted proof and I'm getting that for ya'."

He pulled a little figure out of his pocket. Dean couldn't quite make out what it was. "What the fuck is that?" He took a few more steps forward so he could see.

It was a green army man.

Dean stared. _UN- fucking –believable._

"You mean to tell me-," Dean paused. The Impala had an army man stuck in the ashtray in the back seat. Dean knew that because… because Sam had crammed it there when they were kids.

_Sam…_

Dean shook his head. "What? How the fuck did this happen?!"

"Didn't you see the fucking arch angel in the back seat, Deany?" He said lightly. He pouted at Dean.

"What? Who?" Dean was lost. He didn't have the patience to think.

"Gabriel. I believe his name is," He reached down and started to unbutton his jeans.

"Whoa! Mentioning Gabriel doesn't mean we need to start stripping, man. I mean-," Dean started.

"Calm down." He gave Dean a suggestive smile. "Gabe left a little treat in my seat." He reached down his pants.

Dean caught himself staring as he pulled out a dumdum stick seemingly from his ass and he tossed it to the ground. Dean was dumbfounded. The Impala left his pants undone, red boxers showing, as he took a swing from the bottle in-hand.

"Hey, that's mine. You- Impala- guy- give it back," Dean all but growled. He wasn't sure what to call this guy. He just wanted to drink until he could forget him too.

"Call me Baby. That's what you always call me," he said nonchalantly. He took another drink, his eyes fixed on Dean's.

Something in Dean stirred. He wasn't sure if h liked it or not.

"I won't call you that," Dean deadpanned. "Gabriel is dead," Dean stated. "How could he have done this?" His words were a slow and slurred. He put his gun back in his waistband. The Impala followed his hands, his eyes lingering below Dean's belt. Dean felt like a specimen under a microscope. The Impala had definitely undressed Dean with his eyes. Dean still thought he was dreaming; too much alcohol.

"I don't know. But, he did play Loki for all those years. I guess he tricked us into thinking Lucifer actually killed him." His eyes shot up to Dean's and he gave him a toothy grin. "Call me Baby."

"No."

He took a step forward. Dean took a step back.

"Call me Baby."

"No."

He took a bigger step forward; eyes locked on Dean's. Dean took too big of a step back and fell on his ass. He got down in Dean's face, his breath hot on Dean's cheek.

"Call me Baby." He pinned Dean on the ground, an arm on either side of his head, straddling his waist.

Dean looked at the Impala's black eye. It was his left eye. "Baby busted her left headlight out," Dean stated, staring hard at the man's face before him.

"You mean_ his_ left headlight out," he hissed.

"Yeah." _I am so drunk right now; so, so, so drunk._ Dean took note of their positions. The Impala's pants were still undone. Dean stared at his crouch. "I'm not gay," Dean barley whispered. He knew he was lying. Obviously he was. His cock was definitely telling him he _was _gay.

The Impala whispered, "You're a liar, Dean Winchester."

_I'm so drunk. _"I know." Dean then took note of where they were. "We should get away from the road." Not one car had passed since the whole thing started but, Dean still had a few bits of common sense left in him. He wasn't about to get down and dirty on the side of a road, under the summer stars.

"Only if you call me Baby," He whispered hot into Dean's ear, his hips grinding into Dean's. Dean let out a throaty groan. He gathered Dean's wrists in one hand and held them above his head.

"No." Dean spat. His cock was aching now.

He rolled his hips into Dean's again, grinding their clothed erections together. They both let out a gasp. "Call me Baby," He growled.

Dean knew he was drunk and grieving and probably hallucinating, but the way he was grinding on him felt _so good_ and he needed something _more_ than what he was giving him. He could see the Impala's cock hard and retrained in his boxers.

The bastard left his pants undone and that drove Dean crazy.

Dean growled, "Baby."

Baby grabbed Dean's hand and all but dragged him behind the tree line. He pushed Dean back down in the grass and they were right where they left off in seconds.

"Better?" Baby hissed in his ear.

But Dean didn't get to answer before hot lips were pressed to his and a wet tongue licked its way into his mouth. Dean opened his mouth, wanting to taste more, his cock achingly hard and dripping in his boxers. Baby rolled his hips slowly and caught Dean's moan with his mouth. Dean started to push off Baby's jacket but a firm hand stopped him.

Baby pulled away, "You first."

Baby stripped off Dean's coat first, eyes never losing contact. He pressed a kiss to the corner of Dean's mouth and nipped his nose as he tore of the next layer. He sucked on Dean's tongue before he broke the kiss for a second to take off his shirt. He piled the shed layers under Dean, making a bit of a nest. Dean isn't sure what he's supposed to do or think so he lets Baby do it and think for him.

Baby smiled as he pulled Dean's gun from his waistband and sets it aside. He moved down slowly, sucking a hickey on Dean's neck and leaving kisses down his chest and stomach and stopped just as he reached his pants button. Dean's dick was throbbing and wanting more and Dean was sure he was begging by then but he couldn't hear anything, he just needed. Baby slowly unzipped his pants and pulled them down past his knees and he was gone for a moment and Dean let out a groan and then Baby was back and taking his cock in his wet, warm mouth and it felt _so good._ And he sucked Dean's cock, bobbing his head up and down and stroking his length. He licked the underside of his cock and Dean moaned loudly.

Then he stopped and Dean groaned his displeasure when his mouth is gone. Baby's hand finds Dean's hair and he tugs at it, playing with it and Dean loves the way it felt. Then, Baby shrugs off his jacket and tugs off his shirt. He can't seem to get his pants pulled down fast enough.

"Gonna fuck you tonight, Deany," He whispers between kisses.

"Don't call me that," Dean growled back.

Baby laughed darkly and put two fingers to Dean's mouth. "Suck," He ordered.

Dean happily did so. He swirled Baby's fingers around with his tongue, coating them in his spit. He pulled them out. Dean couldn't help but moan as two fingers entered his hole, stretching him. Dean gasped as his fingers hit his prostate, the sensation going straight to his dick.

"Come on," Dean said impatiently.

"Aren't you eager?" Baby whispered.

Dean didn't answer. Baby pulled his fingers out of his ass and Dean whimpered at the loss. Baby pressed his cock to Dean's entrance and slowly pushed in. They both groaned quietly and Dean could feel Baby's cock filling him up. It was almost too much for him and he could've come right then, but he forced himself not to.

Baby's dark eyes, left eye bruised and shining, were staring into Dean's green ones as he started to thrust, deep and hard into him. Dean grunted with each motion and right about then Dean didn't really care that he was drunk. He was just happy to forget; happy that he didn't remember what he was trying to forget and it felt _so good._

Baby's hand reached down and stroked Dean's erection roughly. He nibbled on his neck and pressed sloppy kisses to Dean's lips. Dean's hands were gripping onto Baby's sides and his heels were driving into his back as Baby fucked him hard and fast. His dick was dripping pre-come onto his stomach.

Dean wasn't sure how much longer he could last.

"Come for me, Deany," Baby whispered darkly into his ear, his hot breath steaming. He pumped Dean's cock faster.

Dean snarled. "Don't call me that." He was breathing heavy, his climax close.

"Come for me, Deany," Baby said again, thrusting hard into Dean. He groaned.

"Only if you don't call me that," Dean all but screamed. He wasn't sure if he could last long enough to play this game. He bit his lip. Baby thrust and hit Dean's sweet spot. He moaned.

Baby's eyes were black with lust. He gave in. "Come for me, Dean."

Dean shot white-hot over his and Baby's stomachs and chests, screaming out in pleasure, his vision blurring. Baby followed a few thrusts after, spilling his load into Dean's ass.

"Fuck," Baby whined as he pulled his softening cock out. "So good." He breathed into Dean's neck.

Dean tried to catch his breath. "What the fuck did we just do?" Dean wasn't so convinced that he was dreaming now. He just had sex with the_ Impala; _his baby.

Baby straddled Dean's hips. "We fucked." He said it like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Dean decided he'd blame it on the drinking. "Now what do we do? I can't get nowhere without my car. Now all I have is a guy with a leather jacket and an army man in his pocket."

Baby started pulling his clothes back on. "Then get dressed. We better start walking." He smiled his sly smile again.

Dean wanted to wipe it right off his face- with his lips. "Yeah." He paused to think. "We gotta find Gabe and make him change you back."

Baby froze at this. "We'll figure it out later. Come on." All his words sounded smooth as a waterfall and Dean though it strange that he would compare any man's voice to a waterfall.

_I'm still drunk. _Dean stood up on wobbly legs and almost fell trying to pull his pants up. "I'll walk only if you help because I just took quite a beating and, man- you- I'm still drunk and I don't think I can walk straight."

Baby put his arm around his shoulder. "Town isn't too far. I'll help you walk only if you call me Baby."

He was stilled confused about all this. He really needed to sleep it off in a bed somewhere. Why would Gabe turn his car into a dude? And more importantly, why did he just have sex with his car that turned into a dude? Dean decided to blame it on the alcohol. That's what he did mostly now a day.

Dean put his arm around Baby's waist. "Let's get goin', Baby." His words were stilled slurred. Baby laughed as they started walking.


End file.
